Non-Jews are for practice
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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