Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
