I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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