then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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