mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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