Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
