You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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