I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's blow job season.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
