Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
