My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Randomize
