sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
