We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
