remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
