Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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