susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
