Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He passed out mid-signature
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
