I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
