Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
