now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
