If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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