some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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