you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Two words: blizzard sex
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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