i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
