It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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