I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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