I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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