I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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