So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
