it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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