i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
