is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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