I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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