i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
