we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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