you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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