Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
