Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
