I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?