dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
