dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
