I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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