he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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