you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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