All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
