Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
