all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
