she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
