Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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