Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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