I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
