Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
