in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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