I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
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I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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