you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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