He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize