Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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