apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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