Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
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I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
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No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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