I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
