I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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