Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I pour the whiskey from now on
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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