JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
